(Side note: This is only the recap of Sunday’s episodes, but we just got back from dinner and Erik is too tired to watch 24. Complaints against him can be posted in the comments. Part 2 will hopefully be posted tomorrow evening.)
This past Sunday on 24:
Jack’s back! With 100% more mysterious disfigurement!
We open with America going nuts with terrorist attacks every 3.5 minutes (literally). President Palmer’s… BROTHER is now President (side note, we need a funny name for him, because there is only ONE true President Palmer) and gets an offer from some terrorist bald dude: I’ll give you the location of the terrorist responsible for the attacks if you give me Jack Bauer for me to kill. It takes President Palmer’s Brother no time to sacrifice the Awesomest Man Ever, and even less time for the Chinese to fly him out.
Bill Buchanan and Curtis greet Jack (actually, only Bill – was there not enough money in the budget to give Curtis any lines? Did they spend it all on Jack’s beard?) and discover that Jack doesn’t really mind dying today. The bald dude takes Jack and is all GUESS WHAT, I’m the one responsible for the attacks, the other guy is on your side, I got you good, you fucker! So Jack goes all “Lost Boys’ on bald dude’s sidekick and escapes – with maximum bloodshed!
Once free, Jack calls the White House to warn President Palmer’s brother that they made a deal with the ACTUAL terrorist. Only everyone there is a jerkoff and doesn’t believe him. Don’t they feel stupid when Chloe (more on her below) and Bill discover that Jack was totally right! And I’m not trying to start some shit, but the REAL President Palmer would never have doubted Jack. I’m just saying.
While Jack is totally right, he is also somewhat soft. He’s a bit reluctant to do the hard core torture on a suspect (not reluctant to chew on another guy’s jugular, though). So his new friend “Not a terrorist” shows him how it’s done – by stabbing a dude in the knee cap! Jack Bauer, I think you just got served.
In other news, Chloe? Is totally awesome as usual. Even if she and her ex-husband/current bone kinda sorta fucked up and almost blew the mission to trade Jack for “Not a terrorist”. But she’s wearing a cool outfit and her current sex life does not seem to be diminishing her bitch factor, so it’s ok.
Also, Karen Hayes and Bill Buchanan are married and totally have sex that merits at least an Level Orange on the security alert (I don’t know what that means). Regina King is Sister Palmer and a sassy attorney defending the Islamic American Something or Other and just got arrested for having the nerve to stand up to the FBI. There’s some chick at CTU who is too young/pretty/poorly acted to be of any interest to me. And Soulpatch Tony is still dead.
DISCUSS!
we are watching this season, cant wait for the 8-10AM recaps! remind me what Regina King was in, cause it bugged me all night.
Tony STILL LIVES.
Also, “her current sex life does not seem to be diminishing her bitch factor” – wouldn’t you be a bitch if you had to sleep with that dude?
Welcome back!
Beck – she’s been in everything. She was in Jerry Maguire, Ray, Legally Blonde 2, Miss COngenialty 2 – but best of all, she was in Friday and 227.
That was crazy when Jack went vampire on the terrorist.
Can’t wait for your next recap, last nights episode was sweet.
She was also Will Smith’s wife in Enemy of the State.
The action is classic, the story gets my attention, the gratiutous violence is superb, but I’m very conflicted over a few things this season.
1. Jack. He’s been starved and tortured for two years, hasn’t spoken a word, and he’s going to just pick up where he left off saving the world that quickly? Without even stopping for a sandwich?
2. President Brother. The dude has a goatee! Come on. Plus, he has no political background whatsoever aside from being his brother’s Chief of Staff. And when did we start negotiating with terrorists? Interesting.
Finally, I love the daughter from Vegas Vacation…very hot. She and Chloe look like they’re going to come to blows soon. When this happens, I’m going to shut the tv off and have sweet dreams about CTU – Porn Edition.
1. The negotiating with terrorists thing intrigued me as well–and look what happens when you do.
2. I love Professor Flockhart’s role in the administration as Bad Guy/Devil’s Advocate. Juicy and tasty.
3. Regina King kicks ass. My prediction: she will no doubt save President Brother’s ass on at least TWO separate occasions this season. And then invite him back to her place at 227 to hang out on the front stoop.
4. Tony brought Jack a sandwich after he got off the plane from China, they just left the footage on the editing room floor. Doesn’t matter because TONY IS STILL ALIVE.
5. Little Terrorist Jr. Kumar should’ve asked for some White Castle instead of more pain killers, because we know that’s what he really needed. And if Doogie would have delivered them to the house, that would have been uber awesome.
Tsk, tsk, Dana. I believe you meant Professor FLEINHART, who won’t be showing up as he’s in outer space on a research mission. Tom Lenox (right? that’s his name, right?) is his evil half-brother.
I only hope they call Charlie in time to explain that the distribution of remaining suitcase nukes is very similar to the way antelopes mate, and how he happens to have an algorithm for that.. Or something like that.
Cap, re: Jack: Not to mention he is probably quite jetlagged.
Nah, the 20 hour flight from China is NOTHING for Jack Bauer. Seriously though, shouldn’t he f*ck SOMETHING up? And why did the Chinese SUDDENLY give him up so easily? I NEED to know what President Brother gave up to give in to the terrorist.
Seriously.
Cap,
Duh. The Prez fixed the Ohio State/Florida game so the Chinese could make a TON of money in Vegas.
Ideas for President Palmer’s brother’s name:
- President Other Brother
- P. Wayne
- Principal Palmer
- Larry’s b*tch
Long live the SoulPatch!