…totally sucked! I know that Uncle LeeChee is going to lay a big fat “I told you so” fart in the comments, but I don’t care. I didn’t even feel like blogging about last week’s episode, but I knew that Fitz would have a seizure if I did not. So let’s get to it…
President Brother gave his most compelling performance to date – because he was unconcious the entire time. He survived the bomb (unlike Assad), but being in surgery makes it hard to run the country. Enter VP Powers Boothe, who still creeps me the frak out (PS – RIP Kara Thrace).
The idiot brother of Rob Lowe gives Larry FLEINhart a “peptalk” about how Larry should go along with the whole “killing President Brother for the good of the country” bit. Before Larry can even tell him yay or nay, Rob Bro-we LETS HIM GO and parades him in front of the Secret Service. Larry FLEINhart takes 5 seconds of suspenseful contemplation before turning him in as the would-be assassin of President Brother. SS takes Larry into custody for questioning, but Powers Boothe tells him to go along with blaming Assad for the assassination attempt, and Larry’s plan can go into effect. That sound you heard? Was my thunderous *facepalm*.
Jack Bauer and Ex-President Logan go to see the Russian Consulate – I’ll be damned, it’s Denethor! Logan is all, “I know you know where Gredenko is!” And Denethor says, “I don’t even know where Boromir is, let alone Gredenko.” Logan says, “Tell me or I will expose you and you’ll be sent to some Russian hellhole prison and executed.” Denethor says, “Never! The rule of Gondor is mine!”
Logan gives up and waits until he and Jack are in the limo to say, “You know what? I bet he was lying.” Jack makes the COLOSSALLY STUPID IDEA to break into the Russian Embassy and capture/torture Denethor. Why is this such a bad idea? Perhaps because he’s probably still jet-lagged after his trip from China, where he was imprisoned and tortured for 2 years for another Embassy visit gone wrong. EVEN LOGAN TELLS HIM THIS IS STUPID. Jack does it anyway. Normally, I admire Jack Bauer for his pluck and initiative. Not now.
Jack Bauer: “Russian Consolate, I am here to find out where Gredenko is and you WILL take me seriously!”
Denethor: “Can you sing, Master Hobbit?”
Jack Bauer: “NO SHORT JOKES – now I’m going to cut off your finger!”
Denethor: “OW! Come, sing me a song!”
Jack Bauer: “I’ll cut off another!”
Denethor: “FINE he’s in the desert. You’ve got a couple of hours until the world blows up. Now bring wood and oil.”
Russian Cops: “RABBLE RABBLE RABBLE You’re under arrest, hobbit!”
Jack Bauer: “NO the hobbit was on last season!”
Jack immediately talks a Russian dude into helping him – until Russian dude gets shot by another Russian dude! Since I don’t know either of their names, I don’t care!
Next time: OH MY FREAKING GOD MARTHA LOGAN IS BACK AND SHE’S WITH AGENT PIERCE AND I BET THEY HAVE “the relations”.
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You should have forgone this post to forward any available theories about Starbuck, who is still alive in my heart and my dreams.
(oh, if only she was alive in my dreams…)
I await comments from noble LeeChee. And Dr. Mrs. Fitz has some interesting news about a Numb3rs/24 love pact news item that I’m too proud of her for discovering to divulge. (can’t understand me? tough. You drink beer/champagne/wine/whiskey and see how coherent you are)
Starbuck is totally one of the 5 cylons. Although that whole Mommy Dearest sequence kind of throws that idea away, but I think the cylons implanted those memories. Or that the last 5 cylons are capable of being born. I still think she’s a cylon.
By the way, 24 has definitely turned for the worst. Last week was the first time I ever said “Jack Bauer, you IDIOT!”
This is why I never go snowboarding with celebrities:
http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/17568685/
I’m disappointed–with all the resources available through their connections at the FBI and the White House, I would have expected them choppered out.
Suckaz, they think Aspen is better than Steamboat.
Kara Thrace, definitely NOT a cylon. The pilot-turned-cylon-turned-pilot story has already been done.
I have no idea what Karen is so upset about. I thought the last episode was thoughful,intense, heartfelt and very loving. I enjoyed every second of the show! More Fingerless Russians and American Trators! Yea! *snip snip snip*
Oh and thanks for no spoiler alert for BSG by the way. Now that I guess Starbuck is either dead, a dead cylon or some dead cylon’s memory implants I’ll just skip the TIVO’d episode you’re all talking about. BAUGH!!! Boo Hiss!!
Sincerely, Uncle LeeChee
Lee – Not my fault you wait too long to watch BSG!
Dr. Mrs. Fitz – They would have been choppered out, had Charlie been able to get time on the supercomputer to triangulate their position!
dont worry about spoiling BSG for Leechee. he falls asleep 15 minutes into every episode anyway. Poor Jack, running around another embassy. I dont even think he has had a sandwich since he got off the prison plane. low blood sugar will make you do the crazy things!
i want the home life posts mixed in again, please.