Karen, Erik and Jack

This is late, and I am sick, so this recap of last week’s episode is going to be short so I can go back to the sofa and cough up my lung.

Agent Not Karen is saved from certain burial death by Chloe and Bill (by the way, doesn’t Bill look like Neil Patrick Harris in 30 years?) and they tell her what’s going on. She wants to call Boss Moss, but they tell her she has to stay “dead” (zombie) so that whoever the mole(s) is/are in FBI won’t give the news to the bad guys.

When Jack, Tony, Emerson and President/First Lady of Sangala (the Matobos) arrive at their destination, all sorts of shit starts going down. Emerson tries to shoot Jack, Tony shoots Emerson in the neck and is all boo-hoo about it. Then Jack and Tony talk to the Matobos about letting themselves be turned over to the bad guys, and they reluctantly agree. Chloe puts a tracking device on Pres. Matobo’s tooth. The bad guys come in and take the Matobos, and try to shoot Tony BUT HOW DO YOU KILL SOMEONE WHO IS ALREADY DEAD? You can’t.

The First Gentleman is still chillin’ (read: paralyzed) while the Secret Service dude has found some hair coloring gloves with which to kill the First Son’s girlfriend. She comes in and gets stabbed (meh) and Secret Service dude gets no blood on him. As someone who is uneasily fascinated with forensics, I call shenanigans on this. I can believe that someone can drive across L.A. or D.C. in 5 minutes during rush hour, I can believe that Jack’s phone can seriously do anything in the world, but I can not believe that blood pattern, ok 24 Producers? ANyway, Secret Service tries to hang the First Gentleman to make it look like a murder-suicide, but the First Gentleman gets enough feeling in his limbs to fight him off. They (of course) both fall off a balcony, and it looks like Secret Service/Miss Clairol is dead.

At the White House, Pres. Taylor is continuing with the attack, even after bad guys (Dubaku is the dude’s name, I now know) bust into the swiss cheese known as the FAA firewall and make two planes crash into each other in mid-air right over D.C. Her Secretary of State quits in protest of her decision to continue, seeing (as we do at home) that her decision will not end well. Since she refuses to pull troops out, Dubaku plans his next attack – some town in Ohio. IF HE BOMBS SKYLINE CHILI, I’LL BE PISSED.

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